Astraphobia [M] [Closed]

Reno gave a small nod. "Good - because I will be waiting for you when you do. No matter how long it takes."

He leant into the kiss, feeding all his love into the embrace. He stopped clinging to him so much and slipped an arm down and around his waist, the other staying around his neck, his hand cradling the back of his head.

"I wish we'd had more time together before this," he sighed softly. "I know we have a lifetime together when you're back but right now that seems so far away."

Reno smiled and kissed him softly. "Nothing like a war to bring out those promises we want to make but feel shy doing so," he teased very lightly. He knew that if that letter hadn't of come they wouldn't be vowing to forever yet, even if both knew in their hearts that they had already made that promise to themselves.

He leant into the hand running through his hair and lifted his hand to cup Seph's cheek. "Lets get everything sorted and then we have all day to be together. Otherwise we're going to keep reminding ourselves we're meant to be doing something other than this - and I'm sure the boys need you to be there right now, as much as I do. We need to be together, all of us - as a family."

Reno laced his fingers with Seph's. "I know we will," he agreed with a nod. "It's just a lot to take in right now. But we have the week - we'll have to enjoy it as much as we can."

He looked down at the half packed bag and looked around the room. "Jeans, pyjamas... toiletries... I won't need much more than that. If I forget anything then we can run over for it - it's not as though I don't live a few minutes down the road."

He released Seph's hand and kissed his cheek as he walked past to get the clothing items he had mentioned, packing them and then darting into the bathroom to grab the wash bag he travelled with.

"Saves time," he chuckled as he tossed it in and zipped it up. "Jess will pack anything that Cerys needs, so I don't need to worry about that... and there's nothing in the fridge that will spoil so we're all right there too."

He paused. "Socks." He opened the bag again and darted to the drawer, grabbed a couple handfuls and dropped them in the bag, zipping it shut again. "Ok, now I'm done."

He hoisted the bag over his shoulder and sidled up to Seph, kissing him softly. "We'll take my car - it's easier than walking back to pick up yours."

Reno quickly grabbed his cell phone and keys as they head out of the door, trying to remember if he knew where the high school was. As they stepped into the elevator he handed Seph the keys with a smile. "It might be easier if you just take the wheel - I think they tore down my old high school and moved to a new location for the new one some years back. It's hard to keep track of it all sometimes."

He let the duffel fall to the floor and leant into Seph's side with a sigh, not moving when the elevator paused and a couple of older residents stepped in, giving polite smiles before turning to face the doors again.

For the first time Reno didn't make an inappropriate comment to fluster them, keeping quiet and moving a little closer to Seph as they waited out the rest of the ride down with them.

"That's the first time they've not made a comment about us," Reno chuckled quietly when they were out of earshot, heading out of the elevator to his car. "You wouldn't think that they have five kids the way they look down on people who have sex. Honestly, I think she believes it was immaculate conception... and I think he drugged her just to get his tail away."

"Oh, I don't know - we're keeping in good practice for the day when modern medicine catches up with us," Reno grinned, pulling him back into another brief kiss before letting him go. He slipped into the passenger's seat and stuffed the bag at his feet, settling back and grabbing the seat belt. It seemed odd to be getting into the "wrong side" of his own car, but it saved them time they didn't want to waste.

"At least the rest of society has recognised that a relationship like ours is not only acceptable but normal too," he said with a small smile. "Jess and Laura were one of the first couples to get married when it was legalised - it was a beautiful ceremony. It helped when we were doing the paperwork to give Laura parental responsibility - it's only fair seeing as she raises her more than I do... and thankfully the law recognises that more than two people can be legally responsible for a child, these days."

He chuckled and shook his head. "I'm rambling already... that doesn't bode well."

Reno placed his hand on Seph's. "We have four children between us - even if we could have more, we'd be crazy to do it." He lifted the hand and kissed it, knowing that him even mentioning his father meant he was riled up. "And screw what your father thinks - we not only know better, but have the law on our side. One day he'll get what he deserves, and I hope I'm there to enjoy it."

Normally he wouldn't speak ill of anyone's family, but Seph's father (like his own) didn't deserve him wasting manners and polite platitudes on him. He would apologise if it offended Seph, even if he meant every word of it.

"I know we will, I'm just... You know what I'm like. I have an irrational panic and then I can face things, it's only that panicking right now won't help anything so I'm trying not to. It's not working so well, but I'm trying."

"Seph, the last thing you need is a grown man going into complete meltdown and crying on your shoulder... which is liable to happen if I let myself think about it."

He leant his head back against the headrest, still trying to block those thoughts out and already giving himself a headache from it. "Besides, nothing bad is going to happen - so it is irrational. Like your father's insisting to talk to you when he knows that he's not going to like what he hears until you miraculously turn straight. I'll have a look at your phone and see what I can do about blocking his number for you - I'm good with electronics after all. You should have mentioned it sooner."

He glanced to Seph with an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I ... let me be in complete hopeful denial for a little longer before I have to think about... that." He gave a quiet sniff and looked to the roof of the car with a sigh, trying to blink away the prick of tears as it was too late and the thoughts flooded in. "Urgh, see. One thing you haven't learnt yet - I'm really good at crying in moments I really don't want to. Angry, sad, frustrated... It used to drive my dad insane. My mum was the same though, cried at the drop of a hat. It's more acceptable in a woman though."

Reno nodded silently against his chest, another quiet sniff the only sound he was able to make while he tried to force his breathing to slow. "It'll pass but," there was another sniff, "it's not going to stop until it wants to, and I can't turn up at your sons' school with tears streaming down my face."

He was as angry with himself as he was embarrassed that it had happened. He wasn't the one going to the front line, and he wasn't the one that could be facing a horrific end... but the thought of being without Seph ripped him apart inside. The thought of being forever without him...

"There should be somewhere to pull over after the junction," he mumbled, knowing he needed to move so that it would be easier for Seph to drive, but completely locked into the position he was in. There was no order he could give his body that willed it to move.

Reno undid his seatbelt and shifted as close to Seph as the car would allow, his arms going around him and pulling them closer together.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, pulling an arm back briefly to wipe away the tears already rolling down his cheeks. "This is the last thing you need. You're coming back, I know that... but the thought that... I can't..."

He could hardly catch his breath and felt sick at the thought of losing him. "I never thought it would be this hard," he whispered. "I knew this could happen but..."

He sat up with a sniff, wiping the tears away though they were going to keep falling. "This isn't how I want you thinking of me while you're not here," he sighed, trying to wipe them away again. "I'm meant to be the one telling you everything will be fine, that the boys are going to be fine, and it won't be long until you see us. That this isn't the end of anything, just a pause and that when you're back it'll the same as it was before. Or better, not that anything needs improving on... I should be comforting and reassuring you, but here I am the one falling apart."

Reno gave a small smile and kissed him back, shifting and resting against his chest again. "I must look a right mess," he sighed. "And your shirt is now wet - sorry."

He was feeling better now that he had gotten it out of his system, even if the odd tear still fell and the dread was still gripping his heart. He couldn't help but feel foolish at breaking down as he had, but he knew he could be stronger now that it had passed.

"We should get to the school - the boys will wonder where you've gotten to before long. I don't want them thinking I've stolen you from them this week. I think there's some kind of wipes around here somewhere to sort myself out..."

Reno brushed his lips over Seph's cheek as he began to drive, settling back in his seat and doing up the belt. They would have time to curl up later - he needed to be practical for just a little while to give them more time later.

He smiled at the thought of sending letters back and forth, a nod given. "I like the sound of being old fashioned, though the others might get jealous by the sheer amount you receive," he chuckled very softly. He knew that he would be writing more often than they would be able to send them over if he was given the chance. "This way we'll never really be apart." He rest his hand on Seph's thigh, squeezing gently.

"Of course," he nodded, un-clipping the seatbelt once again. "I can step out of the office to call Jess, and then rejoin you. That way I know where I'm going instead of getting lost if I loiter outside to make the call first."

He rummaged in the outer pocket of his duffel bag for the cell phone he knew he'd placed in there, pulling out a packet of cigarettes instead and giving a quiet snort. "I guess we can always pause for one before we go in," he suggested, tapping two out and offering one to Seph.

Reno lit the cigarette and let out a slow plume of smoke, opening the door and nudging it open so it didn't get too smoky in the car. He shuffled down in the seat slightly, a foot pressing against the dashboard.

"It'll do them good to have the structure back," he agreed. "People react differently to teaching styles - while Kadaj is quite fluid, the other two need someone to ride their asses." He paused and gave a smirk. "Well, talking in literal terms that's all backwards... but you know what I mean. In any case, the three of them are going to be so sick of me around checking on them so I can let you know that everything is fine, that if anything was wrong I'd sort it out."